Monday, June 28, 2010

Random thoughts from a treadmill!

In the never ending battle to maintain a figure that resembles my younger self, I offer my daily morning conversation with my conscience and my treadmill, or what I sometimes refer to as "The Beast"!

5:00am-  The alarm wakes me from a wonderful sleep. 

 I hate the alarm.  Why does it have to go off so early?  I could just take the morning off!
  Taking mornings off is what got you in this situation in the first place. 
Exactly what situation am I in? 
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.  I could just wait and walk this afternoon after work.
Did you forget that you have a wife and two children that will be demanding your attention this afternoon?  Aren't they worth getting up for this morning?
You're right!  Where are my shoes?

After gathering myself out of bed, putting on my shoes and grabbing a bottle of water I approach "The Beast" from the east side.  I can hear it laughing!  I remind myself how much I hate the beast and I allow my thoughts to turn to those people who either actually like this working out thing, or do not have to work out to stay thin.  Those people annoy me!

I take my place in the center of the death trap and grab my i-pod.  I hope that the first song is a good one!

Which workout should I pick today?  I think I will go with #7 today in the endurance category.  Might as well let the beast whip me good today as long as I am up!
Let's do this!

A song from the 80's blares through my ear buds as the beast roars to life.  She starts off nice and easy.

This is nothing.  Why do I hate it so much?  Anybody can do this! 
(I forget that this is just the warm-up stage)
I don't see how walking can reduce belly fat.  All of those magazine covers say to walk away your belly fat, but I just don't understand how that really works.
Haven't you lost 15 pounds over the past three months by doing just that?
Oh, yeah!  My pants have been fitting better lately!

As the beast turns up the speed a little and slowly makes its way to an incline of ten I am again reminded of why I hate this machine.

How did you let yourself get in this kind of shape anyway?
Doesn't the picture at the top of this blog explain it all?
You don't exactly watch what you eat very well and there is of course beer!
But I've just got a little tummy.
You keep telling yourself that fat boy!
How long does this workout last?  I'm starting to feel this hill a little bit! 
I really hate this!

My mind starts to wonder.

What is on the agenda for today?
Do the kids have anything planned?
Did I do that report for work?
I need to do some laundry and cleaning up tonight.
What can we cook for supper?
Nothing too bad for you fat boy, remember why you are on this thing!!!

The beast is now running on all cylinders, but a funny thing is starting to happen!

I must be catching that second wind that everyone talks about.  I'm feeling pretty good!
I'm not fat, just a few pounds away from my fighting weight!
Man that's a good song! (air drums are now in full effect as I stride to the beat)
Let me pick up these weights over here and get some upper body going as well!
Come on beast!  Show me what you got!  You will never defeat me!

Sweat is staring to roll off of my bald head and I am reminded that short, bald, and fat are not the best of combinations.  I can't do much about my height or my hair, but I can get my lean body back!  I press on with new found determination!

Man this feels good!  I love this feeling!  What belly fat?
Dana has one SEXY husband!
If I can eat right for the next week or two and keep this easy treadmill stuff going every morning, I can reach my goal of 20 pounds with no problem.
I will then be back to my college days form and have my body that I had in my 20's!
Who's scared of approaching 40?  Not me and my soon to be slim self!
What is going on here?  Are you giving up beast?  Why are you slowing down?
Has it been 30 minutes already?  I've still got more in the tank!  I wish I had more time than this!

The beast slowly rolls to a stop as I finish off my bottle of water.  I take a glance in the window and see my reflection.  I can see my 20 year old self trying its best to show through what is now an even smaller layer of past eaten hot wings and cold beer.  I now remember why I started this mission!  I want to be a better me for the sake of my health and I also want to look good for my wife! 

If I keep this up for 12 more months, I'm gonna look great for our Disney Cruise come next May!
Might even sign up for a hot body contest! :)

See you tomorrow Beast!!!!


CHERI said...

Try to talk your daddy into doing something about his wait while you're at it!

CHERI said...

OOPS....I meant "weight"!!!!